Great post and great comments. I have really enjoyed reading all this.
For me I was into the Dead before Phish and had a harder time gettng Phish due to the serious nature of many of the Deads lyrics and the the apparent lack of that in many of Phish's. I have come to realize that they both reach specific parts of my "musical soul." Sometimes the areas they reach overlap, but there are things Phish does that the Dead could never do for me and likewise, things the Dead does that Phish can't. I'm not sure that the following point has been made: It's not that Phish's music is not as emotional as the Dead, but in many cases it is not as "lyrically emotional". I really enjoy some of the "lyrically emotional" songs Phish does but don't think they are hitting Brokedown Palace type territory.
I does bother me how badly these newer slow songs get hated on. I think Joy is a great example, which BTW does have a hook.

Overall I am very, very grateful to have these two Different bands to compare, contrast, and lap up every ounce of musical goodness they serve.